A discussion guide for your book reading with another

As a suggestion, if you’re not sure how to go about your weekly/fortnightly/monthly meet up, here are some questions to get you into the swing of things:

– What things did you find interesting or new? Take turns to say one and share your opinions on each other’s answers.

– What things did you find inspiring, challenging or difficult? Is this something that perhaps reveals a particular view of yours or a command to obey or an example to follow? Try to listen and not make judgments upon the other person at this point.

– If you could ask the author why they chose to write the way they did on the subject at hand in this chapter, or wished they could talk more about something in this chapter, what would you say? Here, you want to try and understand perhaps what the person’s expectations were before reading this chapter and what their expectations are after reading it. You could even try and respond to each other’s answers. (Maybe you could phrase the question better!)

– In light of our discussion, what has changed in your thinking already and/or what will change in your behaviour? Here, it could be helpful to probe one now there for specifics, and then end with praying for those specifics.

 

How to make the most of your book reading: a suggestion

Today at lunch I was having conversations with someone who had just finished a book with lots of thought-provoking things. I asked her how she’s seen these things impact the way she lives and I was encouraged to hear her changed views on various issues. However, how great it would have been to read the book, chapter at a time, at the same time, so that we could get together to talk about it. Not only would it grow our relationship and our understanding of one another’s way of thinking and responding to the same things, but also help us to help each other respond moe purposefully/intentionally.

People who know me would not be surprised that I read three-five books at the same time (partly because I get bored easily and need variety to keep me interested, but also I just want to do too much at once!) but in fact most of those books are read with another person. I’m going to try to convince you to do the same (not necessarily to read three-five books at the same time, but to read however many books you would like to read with someone else).

Note: The reasons below are formed by my desire as a Christian to encourage others and be encouraged to grow to be the person God calls me to be when I follow Jesus. You might or might not agree with all these particular reasons, but I hope some prove convincing for you!

1. The Christian is not a loner. There are many passages in the Bible that present this truth, but, focusing on Hebrews 10:24-25, what is fundamental to the Christian life is meeting together often and, arguably, increasingly, till the day of Christ’s return. And what does the writer say is the purpose of this? To spur one another on towards love and good deeds. The spur is a device that sits at the heel of a boot used to jolt the horse to action. You can’t spur yourself! You need another to do that! In the same way,  if we’re reading a non-fiction Christian book, chances are we’re reading it expecting it to change us in some way. If so, there is no better way that to have someone who understands the ideas you are confronted with (because they’re reading it and trying to understand them too) and asks you the question: so how you will actually seek to change as a result of this changed thinking? Sure, we can ask ourselves the same question and probably answer it sufficiently enough. However, notice the end purpose of the spurring: love and good deeds. In the minds and hearts of mortal creatures, we love to puff ourselves up with knowledge and feel good about thinking abstract ‘good’ thoughts about how we will change. Even the most practical of us struggle to come up with thoughtful ways that are outward looking applications of challenging thoughts. There’s nothing like someone else forcing you to think beyond yourself and from another’s point of view, and keeping you accountable to actions of change that you verbalise.

2. Improve on the art of discussion and disagreeing well. Let’s face it, this is not something anyone is born with. It’s not a gift. It’s something you develop as you learn, from a posture of humility, to listen to understand what another is saying, both explicitly and implicitly. And what better way than to do it through discussing subject matters that you’ve both had to think about from the same source!

3. Grow in oneness. If you are a Christian, then (hopefully) you care very much for the vision that Paul describes for the church in Ephesians 4: to grow up into one man. He sees that every Christian is different but our goal is to “build up the body of Christ, until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of God’s Son”. Through our diverse personalities, gifts, experiences, interests, passions, skills, we are to seek unity in the faith and in knowledge of Jesus. There are many ways to strive towards this, and one is the clashing of minds, as we wrestle together the same ideas and seek to help each other grow in likeness towards Christ. To read a book on our own deprives us of this process.

4. Help each other in our discipleship (following of Jesus in His call and mission). In Christian circles, we use the word ‘discipleship’ in, I think, unhelpful ways. What we often mean by it is ‘coaching’ or ‘mentoring’ and I think they have some aspect of discipleship in them, but I don’t think they encapsulate the concept.  Anyway, starting to digress! My point is I have found that reading a book with someone is an excellent way to help each other (mutually) in our discipleship of Jesus. No matter if they’re younger or older, have been a Christian longer than me or shorter, we can each learn and share together and challenge one another to greater obedience to Christ each chapter.

5. Learn to love by making time to do so. C S Lewis is a profound thinker and has said many a profound sentence! One that has shaped how I relate to people: “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness, but in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.” That was more than one sentence, but what is clear is that we cannot learn to love on our own. It needs another imperfect human being. If you love reading, you probably would love to just curl up with a book on your own. If you hate reading, but see some benefit to getting into a good book, you probably would struggle to read at the pace of another. But, for both, a sacrifice is made, and so love initiated, when you decide to ask another to read a book with you. And thus begins the beautiful process of growing in learning to be vulnerable as you discuss comfortable and uncomfortable things as they arise.

At present, three of the five (though, now technically six!) books I’m reading are with others of different backgrounds, ages. I’m praying and looking forward to the above happening. I hope and pray that you, having read this, would take steps towards asking someone/s to read a book with you. Pick a person you want to get to know in some way. Ask them if they’d like to read a book together. Pick a book. Pick a regularly time to meet to talk about each chapter after you’ve read it (you set the pace together – maybe a chapter a week, maybe a chapter a month). Off you go!