Boy. It’s been a while since I’ve written anything. Perhaps because it was exam-prep and exam time the last three weeks, but I do regret not posting my thoughts during that process, because I did learn a lot, and God humbled me through it. I just finished today (yay!) and it’s always a fantastic feeling when exams are over. So, I shall try to sum up the two things I think I learned the most.
1. Even when things get overwhelming, God’s promises don’t change. At the beginning of stuvac, a good friend of mine texted me the following verses:
For I know that my Redeemer lives, and at the last he will stand upon the earth. And after my skin has been thus destroyed, yet in my flesh I shall see God, whom I shall see for myself, and my eyes shall behold, and not another. My heart faints wihtin me! (Job 19:25-27)
It was a wonderful reminder and rebuke for me, to remember that even if my skin is destroyed (!) I will indeed see the Lord! And what a beautiful and sure promise that is! Obviously at that point I wasn’t close to feeling the same way as if were skin were really being destroyed, but I was rebuked to remember that this is how I should be responding in every and any situation: to cling only onto Him and His good promise. And I thought I was doing that, but I really wasn’t. I was definitely relying on myself to get through these exams. And God had to show me that I really couldn’t, when things started to get a bit out of my hands…Needless to say, in His graciousness, His word was very timely, given to me in advance to prepare for when I would need to be reminded of it when it got hard. He used many to point me back to His promises.
Commit your activities to the Lord and your plans will be achieved. (Proverbs 16:3)
The Lord values those who fear him, those who put their hope in his faithful love. (Psalm 147:11)
I raise my eyes toward the mountains. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth. (Psalm 121:1-2)
God had to teach me the foolishness of relying on my own understanding so that I could realise that if only I commit my activities to the Lord would I be able to achieve what He has given me to do. Sounds a bit like catch-22? Yeah, but then, God is good and he knows what’s best for me. So I can trust that what He says is true. It sounds so simple (and it is!) but it feels like I’m always having to learn this again and again. But I think that’s good too because it helps me know that God is good again and again! And I thank God for that!
2. There is a time and a place for everything, and that in itself is a gift from God. I used to think that exam periods will always be stressful because there is so much to remember in so little time. But reflecting back on this exam period, yes, I did have a lot that I needed to remember, and at times it did feel like I was never going to make it, but God did give me just the right amount of time (even though I didn’t get to study everything). He helped me to understand that there is a time to study and a time to spend time with Him in prayer and in His word. He helped me to understand that there is a time to spend studying hard and a time to stop and spend time with a friend or prepare for a bible study for my Sunday school class. He helped me to see that He is the giver of all tasks, and He is the best prioritiser. He never gives me too much that I collapse under it all nor too little that I just trust in my abilities and understanding alone.
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. (1 Corinthians 10:13)
Dear God, sorry that I so often put myself at the centre and forgot who you are; that you’re the Lord, and you are for me! Thank you for being so patient with me and reminding me gently that you are dependable and you want us to depend on you. Thank you for carrying me through this exam period and using it to humble me and teach me that you are in control and you use all things to mould us for good – for growing us in dependence on you, for helping us understand that you are trustworthy, and for sharpening the focus of our eyes to fixate better on you and your promises. And thank you for hope – for sure, for certain, for irrepressible hope when this world and our toil gets us down. You are so good at what you do and you are so good at who you are! Amen.
life matters 